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July 06, 2005

Informatio: , , ,

My heart, one year later...

EKGIt has been one year since my heart attack. Yesterday, I went in for the 1-year checkup with my cardiologist… This wasn’t quite the anniversary that I had expected (not that I was actually expecting anything). Don’t worry… Everything is ok. It’s just that, after one year, it seems like I should have a diagnosis of why my heart attack happened, doesn’t it? Well, I don’t. And my appointment yesterday didn’t bring me any closer to one.

To tell you the truth, yesterday was pretty emotional. My doctor, while a nice guy and all, isn’t the always most informative. Most of the information I know about my blood disorder, I found out for myself. In fact, I don’t think I would have ever been tested for this particular disorder unless a doctor that works for hadn’t offered his opinion.

So, here I am, one year later, still wondering what’s wrong with me. (And, believe, me, there’s much more to this story, but I just don’t have the energy to write about it right now.)

But, this seems like a day that I should have something meaningful and profound to say, doesn’t it? I don’t know… I think I may have already said most of what’s been on my heart and mind over the past year.

Still, this is a good date to reach. Nothing has happened since the incident a year ago. I’m healthy. My blood pressure is lower. My EKG has given a normal reading every time it’s been taken. I couldn’t ask for more.

I’m still a little uncertain of the future of my health. Being on medication forces me to think about it daily. But I’m thankful that it’s not worse.

God has been good to me through all of this. I pray that I may learn to trust Him more — it seems like most of my trust is still in doctors’ opinions and my own self-confidence (or lack thereof). I am looking forward to feeling more secure in God’s grace… It happens each day, even if in small amounts. Sometimes I realize that I haven’t thought about it for hours. That’s a nice feeling.

Please pray peace on Julianna… She doesn’t deserve to go through all of the crap that I’ve put her through because of this. Being married adds a whole new dimension to worry and stress sometmes. It’s just not fair.

Posted at 05:55 am

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Comments (3):
Tim and Julianna—I hope you can celebrate this day in some small way. I know as I got more experienced with the heartaches of life, I tended to accumulate anniversaries of all the bad things that happened. Now I’m thinking maybe all those dates should be times when we’re especially good to ourselves, when we concentrate even more than usual on the good that remains. I’m so glad you two have each other and God! And that He’s faithful. I will continue to pray…

Katy Raymond () (URL) - July 06, 2005 at 07:50 am

You are wise, Katy… And much too kind. Thank you.

timsamoff () (URL) - July 06, 2005 at 08:36 am

Thinking of you, bro.

dennisthemenace () - July 06, 2005 at 10:30 am

  
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