November 08, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Where I'm at...
Last night was terrifying. I woke up at midnight-on-the-dot. I was in pain. I was uncomfortable. But, it was strange. It felt like my hip joint was trying to break free from the socket — like the upper-most part of my left femur was pushing outwards. I didn’t know what to do. I was alone. I was scared. I cried. After about half an hour of trying to reposition myself (which, mind you, there aren’t that many positions I can lay in these days), I finally took some pain meds. They seemed to help and I think I drifted off to sleep.
At eight days after surgery, this was unexpected, but that’s sort of how things are going: unexpectedly. Sometimes everything is great. Sometimes I feel like I’m in utter despair.
To sum up a little about what else has been happening, here is an email that I sent to my brother and sister the other day:
I keep forgetting if I sent an email yet. I apologize if I didn’t. This
has been a pretty trying time — much worse than I thought it’d be.
I’m beat all of the time and going in and out of low-grade fevers.
The pain medication doesn’t seem to do much either… That is, until I
forget to take it. Then, I realize it really is doing its job.
But, I am making it through. Every day is a little better. I’ve been
home for about 3 days now.
Today, I went to the doctor to get my Coumadin (blood thinner) levels
checked. My surgeon said not to leave the house for two weeks after the
surgery, but since I can’t check my blood myself, it’s sort of a Catch
22. My levels were just fine, but, except for lunch, I’ve been sleeping
Anyway, I hope everything’s going good with your families. It sure was
nice to have Dad here for a few days. Mom has provided invaluable help
and she leaves next Saturday.
I’ve been home for about nine days now. Honestly, I’m getting a little sick of being in bed so much. But, every time I try to do something (even loading photos from my camera into my computer) I get wiped out. Of course, ironically, I’m getting tired of getting tired so easily too. Go figure.
Speaking of photos, the ones you see here are just a random selection of shots I took while going through surgery, etc. And, if you couldn’t tell, I was in the hospital during Halloween (boo!).
Emotionally, I’ve had my ups and downs too. I know this is all temporary. I know that others have it much worse. Still, sometimes I feel pretty upset about my whole situation — like I should have never had the surgery. And, I don’t just think it’s self-pity either. But, my family is doing a great job of telling me that what I did was necessary. (Julianna reminded me that I’m already walking up and down the stairs better than I did before the surgery.)
One thing that we didn’t expect is how badly Josiah would react to me being laid-up. For the first couple of days, he was actually angry with me (one time, he walked over to my bed and hit me in the arm). But, after experiencing his emotions, it makes a lot of sense. Aside from not really understanding why I’m laying in bed, Josiah is frustrated that I can’t just get up and play with him.
As you can see, my bed has been set up in our dining room. This was to avoid my having to walk up and down the stairs all of the time. Plus, the way I sleep most nights, wouldn’t let Julianna get much sleep either. I can’t wait too get back to my own bed, though.
I do walk up and down the stairs — twice a day — for exercise. My exercise consists of about eight stretches and walking around the house. Then, I need to ice my hip for fifteen to twenty minutes.
I’ll leave you with one photo, but I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you actually look at it. Yes, it’s the one: the gruesome depiction of the fateful wound. Be prepared to view thirty-two staples and part of my wrinkled, naked bum.
Warning, this is your last chance to turn back!
Click here to view.
Oh, the horror!
But, thanks be to God, every day, although awash in unknowing, I do feel like I am improving… And, that is expected, isn’t it?Digg This Story | Save This Page